best in show

"i guess it was for the best. he said it was. i can't be too mad or sad or whatever about it, you know. i'm just glad nothing bad happened. can you imagine? i mean, what if i hadn't been here? this baby. this miracle. this child. he could have died. so i'm sad and stuff that i didn't do it the way i wanted, but, mostly, i'm just grateful. it wasn't what i wanted, but i think it saved that baby's life." her fingers graze her stapled stomach and she grimaces in pain. "also, it's good this way because i didn't have to go through all that. i've heard it really hurts."

"i'm not sure i could have done it. my moms said that baby'd bust my butt in two. then, the doctor said he'd grown too big so fast when he did the ultrasound. he was too big for me to push his ass out. i wasn't wanting to try. i couldn't do that shit. seven pounds is a lot of baby."

"you know, i feel it's very empowering, being able to come in now, not disrupting my life, schedule things when i want them, so i can rearrange my work, get someone to cover for me, get some things in order, not have to rush out, half-naked, in the middle of the night, bleeding in a taxi cab, who knows when the baby would have come? now that i'm here, there'll be no surprises. they'll just cut me open and take her right out. i just hope they sedate me well, but i do, really, thank god that i live in a country that values my voice, that gives me this power."

"my husband was worried, a little, about, you know, down there, and then i've talked to my friends who've had babies, you know, naturally, and they've said things about, you know, stretching down there, and then, well, you hear people talking, you know, and i think not for all that. i carried this baby 9 whole months and now my body's shot to hell, you know? not that, too. it's all i've got left. so, i talked to my doctor, and we're going to just bypass the whole thing, you know? just zip and it's out and i don't even have to worry about what things will feel like at the end, whether it'll, you know, stay snug down there. he said with the surgery, while i'm under, they my be able to tighten up my belly a bit, too, which, really, i mean, look at me."