thumper

nine months delayed. in seven more, hopefully the small one who beats so lively will emerge, perfect and so long wanted. for now, ten weeks in, i can only hope that the nausea and unexpected retching will soon pass. and double-check, occasionally, for the thumping.

she surprised us with two babies last night, immaculately formed and already mobile. he said she chirped and shrieked and he didn't know what was going on. by the time i arrived and noted the new movement in their space, he still hadn't bothered to check the source of her distress. hopefully, this oblivion will not extend to me.

in athens, he is a changed man. this trip has done him much good, and i am infinitely relieved that he has taken it, that he takes the time to indicate the wonder he's experienced, to jot down the marvels of his new exposure.

papping them, i find myself often startled by the work that goes into the grooming and i wonder if it matters, i wonder if they notice, if they prefer the pedophilic look, bare, easily chafed. i wonder if they care or if, as with her tits, it's something the ladies bother themselves about, probably because of porn and fear, and the men, once dark and damp, couldn't be bothered with.

my mind is overtaken by placenta. it's a struggle to concentrate, respond briefly, even, to e-mail. i am hoping this, too, will pass and i will begin again to see clearly. next time, anchorage.

thump, thump. keep it up, my dear, and keep your mommy sane.